Playing the Fool
by Jewels Light
Summary: Revamped and Uploaded again since it disappeared. Kagome has reached her breaking point after seeing Inu Yasha and Kikyo together again. Before she leaves, she is going to get some things off of her chest. Can Inu Yasha fix this or is it too late? O
1. Default Chapter

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hello everyone. I just wanted to let you know that this isn't a new story, it is the first one that I ever wrote, way back in January. However, I noticed that it had somehow vanished from its location, and I couldn't let that happen. This is one of my favorites, _WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR_ being a close second. So there has been a minor revamp and this lovely little note added to the beginning. 

Also, I have lost all of the reviews that I had originally, but luckily I always print them out and keep them with my hard copy. So I will do shout outs to those that I have, and if I get any new ones, I will reply by email if I can.

f U n N i E b O n E s 2K: Thank you so much. They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so I am glad that this touched you that much.

Aphiopsyduck: ^_^ *Takes a bow* When I was younger I used to hate being called cute, but now I will take it for the compliment that I know it is! Thank you!

Hawk Niag: *_* I believe in the quality not quantity rule, and you just renewed my faith in it. Thank you very much.

tanuki-chan: I don't want to make people cry, but it does tug at the heartstrings doesn't it? I wrote the darn thing *Muse clears his throat and looks at author threateningly* and it still gets to me. As for a sequel, I don't think so. This was meant to be a one-shot and that is how it will remain... unless you want to tackle it?

animeangelstar2000: I'll send you a new box of tissues! I love sad stories too... maybe because they always seem to work out in the end. At least in my little world (I am a sucker for happy endings!)

DracOnyx: For a review like this from one of my favorites is a real honor. I am glad that you enjoyed it!

Cataluna: Thank you! Another of my favorite authors... you have made my no nonsense muse cry. I don't think he is too happy about that, but I enjoy it! ^_~ As for the fool speech, that was the inspiration for the rest of the story.... that is what I came up with first.

s.kitten: Genius huh? *blushes modestly* Why does that make me feel like Wile E. Coyote.... My name is mud? But thank you so much.

Third-ReCaRnAtIoN: Thank you. Glad you liked it. 

Angelstars: @_@ One of your favorite all time reads? I am speechless! Thank you so much....

Classic Cowboy: Dentists? I hate dentists! Can I pay some other kind of bill instead? Or maybe just send you one of my peanut-butter cups? They are a better cure than chicken soup!

Neko no Baka: Not a dark fic, but angsty, no doubt about it! Geez, I make a lot of people cry... I really hope that is a good thing.

perejil_tuk: More tears? You know, when I first wrote this, I told my editor that I didn't think it was angsty enough. Guess I was wrong....


	2. Playing the Fool

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DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inu Yasha nor anything else but these words and this idea. Inu Yasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: I decided to use the basic idea of what would happen if Kagome had finally had enough of the pain of seeing Inu Yasha and Kikyo together. We all have our breaking point, and this is my version of what would happen once Kagome had reached hers. Please read and enjoy.

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Playing the Fool...

By: Jewels Light

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Kagome was late again. She had returned to her own time to get some more supplies and to take one of those stupid "tests" that she was always complaining about. He had been on his way to the well to go and drag her back when Kikyo had stopped him. Now it was done. He had finally made his choice, now all that he had to do was tell Kagome. What would her reaction be? What would she say? He would never admit it, but he was afraid of what was going to happen now. Kikyo had just left, accepting his promise to protect her with an embrace and a kiss.

He sighed and looked around the tree, towards the well and was surprised to see Kagome's back as she headed toward it again. Maybe she had forgotten something. He slowly started after her. Inu Yasha was watching the ground as he walked, when he saw the footprints in the mud. They were fairly deep and had the tread that only Kagome's weird shoes could leave. She had been standing in this spot for awhile. He could still smell her sweet scent lingering on the air, although there was a saltiness mixed with it. _Why was she crying? _He thought. With a gasp he looked over his shoulder, and his eyes widened when he saw the view that she would have had from this location.

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Oh Gods, she saw.... His mind screamed. Inu Yasha turned back to follow Kagome, now speeding through the wood. _Don't let me be too late to explain_... He had just reached the clearing where the well was located, when he saw a shudder run through her small frame and she dropped to her knees on the squelchy ground. _Was she hurt? _His concern came out as it always did, sounding harsh and insulting.

"Fool, what are you doing on the ground?" Inu Yasha asked as he reached down to help her up.

******

Kagome had returned through the well, and was surprised when she didn't see Inu Yasha immediately. He was usually waiting for her to come back. That is he was usually waiting if he hadn't come through to drag her back already. Patience was not one of his strengths. _Oh well, maybe he is at the God Tree _she thought with a shrug_._ The ground was kind of soggy around here thanks to the rain which had just been stopping when she had arrived. She was humming a little tune, which had died in her throat the moment that the God Tree had come into view. Inu Yasha and Kikyo were there. She could see from their expressions and the warm embrace...not to mention the kiss...that he had finally made his choice.

She was completely unaware of the tears that had begun to flow down her cheeks. She had known that this day would come, she had just hoped that it wouldn't come this soon. The worst part of the entire situation was that she understood. There was no way that she could hope to compete with the woman who had held his heart 50 years ago, and obviously still did. She was just a replacement, a carbon copy that hadn't received all of the original information, a shard detector...and nothing more. Knowing that didn't make it hurt any less.

Kagome couldn't watch them any longer. She began to stumble back in the direction of the well. Her heart had shattered into thousands of pieces, just like the jewel she had broken. But unlike the jewel, no one would care enough to collect the pieces of her heart. Now she felt completely empty. How could such a void hurt so deeply? A sob shuddered its way out of her, feeling like it had started at her toes and worked its way up from there. She fell to her knees. _I am such a..._

"Fool, what are you doing on the ground?" His voice cut through her pain like a knife. It was one thing to think it yourself, but quite another to have it confirmed by the one who had put you into that situation in the first place. Kagome welcomed the anger, at least it wasn't the searing emptiness she had been experiencing up to that moment.

"Fool?" she hissed. The tone of her voice caused Inu Yasha to drop his hand and take an involuntary step back. She jumped to her feet and spun around to confront him. He was shocked to see the fury blazing in her dark eyes. "Fool..." her voice dropped to a whisper, but he heard the pain and despair in them. "Yeah, I suppose that I am. But you want to know something Inu Yasha, they say that it takes one to know one!"

"Kagome..."

"No, don't say anything. I just want to get this over with...don't interrupt me, please?" Her voice cracked on the last word, and she turned away from him, but not before he saw the tears in her eyes. _Get what over with? Why does she sound so sad...so final? Oh gods, no..._ It felt like his body and soul had been encased in ice, he couldn't move or speak.   


"Do you want to know my definition of a fool, Inu Yasha?" He didn't. He had a horrible suspicion that he already knew. Kagome had taken a few steps away from him and toward the well. Her head was bowed, causing her dark hair to fall forward to hide her face. Her right hand crept up to the base of her throat. She stood there for a moment in silence. Her voice was soft and raw with emotion as she continued. "A fool will purposely choose death over life, darkness to light, cold rather than warmth, sadness instead of laughter, despair rather than hope, and hate instead of..." Once again her voice failed her. She shook her head. She was going to do this....she had to do this. "...love." 

It was just a breath of air but his keen ears heard it, and the impact hit him as if she had screamed directly into his ear. Since she was still facing away from him, she didn't see him wince as pain and sorrow that flashed in his eyes. 

"But a fool is also a person who knows the truth, but deludes herself into thinking that she has a chance... even when it is obvious that she doesn't or can't measure up. A fool wants to be with the people she cares about, even when its apparent that she is no longer wanted or needed. But mostly, a fool is someone who willingly lets her heart be broken piece by piece so that the jagged edges can tear her apart rather than making one clean break, because she is afraid of the loneliness that break will bring."

Inu Yasha stood there frozen, and then it hit him that the last part of her speech had been a description of herself. He felt her pain, pain that he had caused, and wanted to comfort her but he couldn't move. Couldn't say anything. And for that matter, what **_would _**he say. He knew that she was right. He had hurt her often, and she always forgave him. She rarely let him know that she had been hurt by his words or actions. She was there for him always...but this time he had gone too far. Everyone has a breaking point, and he had pushed her way past her limits.

Kagome seemed to come to a decision and turned to walk back to the hanyou, who hadn't moved or spoken since saying her name that one time. _Well, that makes it easier _she thought with a sad smile. _He obviously agrees with me_. She stopped directly in front of Inu Yasha, and looked up into the golden eyes that she loved so dearly. She couldn't read them at all. She saw his ear twitch and she almost laughed....he probably thought that she was going to 'Sit' him. With another small shake of her head to clear her thoughts, she abruptly jerked her hand away from the base of her throat. Inu Yasha heard the brittle snap of the chain that she always wore.

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Kagome don't do this to me...to us...please... He begged her in his mind. He knew what that sound meant, and it had been echoed by a brittle snap in his heart. He felt her take his hand gently and place the jewel into it. It flared once with a brilliant purple light, but it was just a dark purple, broken marble by the time that she closed his fingers around it. Its pure light was gone....and now **his** light was leaving. _Kagome..._ his mind moaned.

"This isn't mine. It never was. I would have given it to you in the end, once it was completed. It seems that the end came sooner than I had hoped." A single tear slid down her cheek. "Use it to become who or whatever you want to be. I still don't understand why you want to change....I think that you are perfect just the way that you are." Her eyes dropped down to the prayer beads that had been around his neck for so long. One finger reached out to lightly trace them. "These are mine I suppose, since I am the only one that can use them." She wrapped her had around them and gave a vicious yank. Inu Yasha didn't feel the slight pain as his hair was torn out, but every bead that hit the ground scorched his soul like acid. "Now you are free Inu Yasha. There will be no one to control you any longer. You are free to do what you want, when you want, with.... whomever you want." 

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No, no, no, no.... His mind was chanting. Her touch on his chest stilled the ranting of his mind. She could always calm him so easily. Kagome's small hand lay over his heart. She could feel it racing under palm. She looked up into his eyes once again, and behind the tears he saw her love shining out at him. He could only hope that it meant that she wasn't going to go through with this. Her next words shattered those dreams.

"This isn't mine. It never was...how could it be when it has been owned by someone else for so long. I wanted it desperately, but I guess that we don't always get what we want." _Its now or never _she thought. She stood on tip toe and pressed a soft, gentle kiss to his lips. It was full of all the emotion that she was feeling. He inhaled her scent imprinting it on his memory, for what he was afraid this would be his last chance to do so. _This isn't happening...this can't be happening...not now, not ever..._

"I had to do that before I left. I wanted to do it for a long time, longer than you can imagine. I couldn't force myself on you like that though. Now things have changed, and it is proper to kiss someone when you are leaving. And I am leaving, Inu Yasha..." she turned and walked slowly towards the well. She sat on the rim, as a light rain began to fall again, washing away the tears that were falling from her eyes. "I am going to seal the well, Inu Yasha, because as we both know, I am a fool. I would come back to you. I have loved you from the moment that I released you from Kikyo's spell, and I guess that I always will, because my heart is staying here with you. I 'm sorry, but I can't play the fool any longer. Please be happy Inu Yasha. One of us should be!" She looked at him over her shoulder one last time. He still hadn't moved. She sighed softly. "I love you Inu Yasha....always." The last word floated up from the depths of the well, with a quickly fading trace of Kagome's scent.

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Don't leave me alone, please.....Kagome.... His thoughts screamed, but still he stood frozen, looking at the now empty well. It was as empty as his heart. After time, the ice that had sealed his body and soul thawed enough for him to move. Then he could do nothing but drop to his knees, staring at the well with hopeless eyes. She was gone. His first friend, his first enemy when he woke, his greatest weakness, his greatest strength, his partner, his conscience, his only comfort, his home....was gone. He looked down at the jewel in his hand and saw the similarities between him and it....it was incomplete, and its light was gone. He raised his head and howled all his grief and pain into the stormy sky.

******

Kagome lay at the bottom of the well and sobbing as if her world had come to an end, and in a way it had. She was crying for herself and for him. The person she loved more than life itself. Someday he would complete the jewel, and have his fondest wish....with someone other than her. Unknowingly, she echoed Inu Yasha's howl of grief and pain. When her weeping had subsided enough for her to climb the ladder, she did so, with one longing look back at the bottom. If she jumped now, she would be able to go back and tell him that she didn't mean it. She didn't want to leave him, not now, not ever. 

"No, I have to be strong, for him as well as myself. He will be happy with...her... and maybe I can move on....." she whispered as she closed the lid of the well. Then she snorted, sounding eerily like Inu Yasha. "Not likely, you can't move forward when your heart is 500 years in the past. Good bye Inu Yasha, I love you." She rested her hand on the lid for a moment and felt another wave of pain and sorrow crash over her. Finally she took a single arrow and stabbed it into the lid. "Let no one pass.....especially not me." The arrow glowed with a pure white light and she crumbled to the ground with a moan. It was done. She would never see him again. Once again sobs tore through her small frame. "Oh, Inu Yasha...." she whispered.

"Fool, what are you doing on the ground?" a soft voice inquired from behind her. Kagome gasped and looked up. It couldn't be...she had sealed the well. How on earth did he get behind her? She slowly got to her feet and turned around to face him. There was his familiar form, but dressed in modern clothes. He wore a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled to the elbow, black pants and SHOES!

"I do believe that we have already established that fact." she replied wearily. "Now will you please leave me alone." She leaned back against the well and closed her eyes. Looking at him hurt her heart. Kagome could feel his intense golden stare burning into her.

"I waited you know." He said after a few moments. Her eyes flew open and her jaw dropped. He smirked at her.

"You're drawing flies." She shut her mouth with a snap.

"Why....I....You..."

"Are you going to complete any of those thoughts?"

"Well, uh...."

"Maybe it would be better if I did this without interruptions. Can you do that?" Kagome nodded and bit her bottom lip. "Okay. Now like I said, I waited for you to come back, but it was Miroku that pointed out that you couldn't, since you had given me your shards. I would have to go to you." Kagome gasped as that registered in her exhausted mind. She couldn't have returned even if she had wanted to, so it was a good thing that she had kept her willpower when she had returned.

" I tried that too, but I couldn't get through. Now I know why. After some time, we left to complete our quest. We did it, Naraku is dead. Miroku's curse was broken and he and Sango married. They had six children before they died. Shippo stayed with them for awhile, but then he moved on. He never forgave me for driving you off....which is okay, since I never forgave myself either." His words tapered off and he looked away from her. Kagome felt another tear fall from her eye. _Am I never going to stop crying? _She wondered. Her friends were long dead and poor Shippo...he had once again lost someone that he loved.

"I protected Kikyo until the day that she died." Kagome was now the one to look away. She didn't want to hear this, it would hurt too deeply to hear of their life together.

"Inu Yasha..."

"No interruptions, remember?" He raised an eyebrow and waited until she nodded again. "I protected her and her family, but we were never together in the way that you think. She said that she couldn't and wouldn't be a replacement for the one that I really wanted." He snorted again. "Sound familiar Kagome? Seems that you both thought that you were second best." 

Kagome felt her heart stop for a moment. _They **hadn't** been together....and she was the one that he had wanted? But that meant that he had been....alone. Oh Gods..._

"Anyway, she married and died...again. Actually, when her husband died, she gave up her need for revenge on me so that they could be together again." He shrugged and then took a deep breath. "You know, I never forgot what you told me that day....today I suppose." He walked toward her, stopping when he was directly in front of her. He looked down into her eyes and she gasped at the love and sorrow she saw in those golden depths. He gently took her hand and placed something into it. At the bright purple gleam he sighed happily and she looked startled. Kagome looked down and saw the completed jewel in her palm. She looked up at him in wonder and he smiled.

"This was mine. Now it is yours. I completed it, but the light was gone. Not only from the jewel but from my life. I didn't want it any more. The thing that I wanted most...the only thing that I wanted any more, had literally left me in the past. I had no desire to become a full youkai when I found out that she thought that I was perfect just as I was." His voice was rough with pain. "So it was useless to me." Kagome watched him with sad eyes. She wanted to comfort him, but how, when she was the cause of his pain. Once again tears filled her eyes, this time for this man who she loved so deeply and had hurt so badly. 

Inu Yasha reached into his shirt and pulled out a familiar set of beads and Kagome's breath caught in her throat. She reached out and touched them with a shaking hand. He put his hand over hers.

"How?" Her voice was nothing more than a breathless whisper. He raised an eyebrow and smirked at her before continuing on with his story.

"This was yours, but now it is mine. When you broke it, every bead that dropped to the ground left a mark on my heart. I searched for them and strung it back together. It was the only thing I had that connected me to you, and I wasn't going to let it go. It hasn't worked in the 500 years that I waited to see you again, but it did remind me of who and what, I was waiting for." He smiled at her, his golden eyes burning into hers. She felt herself returning it. He took the hand that he was still holding and put it over his heart. Once again she felt his heart racing under her palm. She felt herself blushing, but she didn't look away from his gaze.

"This was mine. Now it is yours, and it had been for the longest time. I couldn't admit it at first, I was scared. In the time that we had spent together you had become everything to me...my conscience, my hope, my comfort, my home, my light, my love...my life. You were the only one who didn't want to change me, you just accepted me for who I was and loved me for it. I was afraid of this weakness, but I was terrified of losing you." He took a deep breath. "You saw me with Kikyo today, didn't you?" She nodded. "But you weren't close enough to hear what was said?" She shook her head and he sighed. "Just as I thought. I had just come to the conclusion that I loved you when I saw Kikyo. I promised her that while I would protect her for the rest of her life, I couldn't follow her to Hell. Because while I owed her my death....I owed you my life. She actually accepted that. I was coming to tell you, and to see what your reaction would be, when everything blew up in my face. When I caught up with you, you were so hurt and angry, I froze." She raised an eyebrow at him but didn't say anything. "I'm serious. I couldn't move or say a word, while you told me about your pain and your love, all I could do was scream inside my own head."

Realization dawned on her, and she dropped her eyes. He really hadn't moved or said anything after saying her name that one time. She remembered how she had even thought that it made it easier to continue. She hadn't realized that he was in pain, or having a problem.

"I am so sorry..." she whispered. He put a finger under her chin and raised her head so that their eyes met once again. His smile was gentle and full of love.

"What are you apologizing for? I was a fool for a long time, and I caused you more pain than I can ever hope to make up for, but I am going to try. I should be the one making the apologies. You told me that you were leaving your heart there with me, and I have brought it back, but now it is mine. I won't give it back, but I offer mine in exchange, that is, if you still want it." She sat there in silence for a few minutes, just staring down at the jewel in her hand. He was starting to get nervous. His ears were twitching to and fro, and she had to stop herself from giggling. Finally she nodded and gave him a wide sunny smile.

"I would have to be a fool to turn that down, wouldn't I?" He laughed and drew her into his waiting embrace. She snuggled into his arms as he dropped a kiss into her hair. He inhaled her scent deeply, it had been much too long since he had smelled her.

"I have waited for 500 years to feel like this again....to come home." he murmured against her hair. She looked up at him and he caught her lips with his. It was warm and gentle, filled with the promise of lifetime of others. Finally he broke it off and looked down at the light of his life. "You were worth the wait, Kagome." She smiled up at him shyly and he blushed. "I will love you....always."

"Yes, always." She whispered. And with that simple wish, the Jewel of Four Souls, which was still in her hand, flared brightly and vanished. 

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Always....

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